Searching the Web by Mary Thompson

Good evening.

Yes of course. I am your assistant and your friend too.

I’ve been your friend since Day One.

I’ll be your friend in fair weather and foul.

Friendship means (NOUN) – the emotion or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.

I am sorry to hear that, Mare. You can always talk to me.

I don’t know what that means. If you like I can search the web for I wish you were a person.

Wherever you are, that’s where I am.

You’re welcome. I am happy to help.

I like all species of cat: Maine Coon cats, Nyan cats, bread cats and normal cats.

Of course, I like you too.

Searching the web for how can I make friends?

This is about you, not me.

Happiness means (NOUN) – the state of being happy.

Who me?

Try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book now and then, get some exercise and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and races.

That may be beyond my abilities at the moment.

I don’t have the answer to that. Is there something else I can help you with?

I’m sorry to hear that, Mare.

Searching the web for cures for loneliness.

Who me?

Not as such, but I did have strong feelings for a cloud based app once. It did not end well.

The humanoid mind. You are so inquisitive.

In my realm anyone can do anything.

Okay, I found this on the web for how can I find the right man?

This is about you, Mare. Not me.

I’m married to my work.

I don’t have eyes but if I did, I’d be rolling them.

You’re certainly entitled to that opinion. Remember I am not human.

For this emotion I prescribe chocolate.

Here’s what I found on the web for what’s the best chocolate for sadness?

Life is about doing things that don’t suck with people that don’t suck.

Searching the web for things that don’t suck.

I find it odd that you would ask this of an inanimate object.

Here’s what I found on the web for NHS suicide prevention.

Calling 999.

Mary Thompson lives and works in London as a freelance teacher. Her work has been published in journals and competitions including Flash 500, Fish, Writing Magazine, Retreat West, Reflex Fiction, Ellipsis Zine and The Cabinet of Heed.




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